Potty-training with Bob

     Bob, our five-year old, has been potty-trained for a while now. Thank goodness. So he’d thought he’d share a few of his potty-training tips with you today.

Tip #1- Clothing is not necessary

     At least it wasn’t for Bob. When we first started potty-training, he decided that if he couldn’t wear the diaper, he wouldn’t wear anything. Now this wasn’t a huge problem unless someone pulled into our driveway. One day, our local Jehovah’s Witnesses paid us a visit. Before they could even open their car doors, the greeting party was upon them. Bob, stark-naked. He looked up at them, grabbed his thingy, pulled, crossed his eyes and grinned. I think he just about choked on the dust when they peeled out of our drive. I think we’ve been labeled as heathens based on that visit. I think everyone in Hope has seen his package by now.

Tip #2- Only go when you have to

     And wherever you happen to be. Bob always seemed to have the urge strike him as he stood on our front porch. He’d stand on the top step and water whatever or whoever went by. There were many summer days when one or more of the older kids would run in the house yelling that Bob had just peed on them. Then there was the one time we were travelling on the interstate when he informed us he had to go. We encouraged him to wait until we reached the rest area, less than a mile away. The family cheered him on as he restrained himself. We skidded into the rest area sideways, jumped out and retrieved him from the backseat. As soon as his feet hit the ground, he jerked it out and let it rip. Of course we were mortified, telling him he needed to wait until he got inside but other rest area occupants ended up on the ground trying to contain their guffaws.

And last but not least.

Tip #3- Everyone makes mistakes

     Just don’t cover them up, unless you can do it with a curtain. I have a beautiful wooden shelving unit. It has five shelves on the tall side and two on the smaller end. I had it positioned so that the smaller side was beneath our living room window. One day I began to smell something. I asked my hubby if the dog had happened to come in and leave us a present. He said that she hadn’t been in but I doubted him. So I searched and searched and finally I found the source of the scent. On my pretty shelf, covered up with my curtain was a wonderful pile, left by my darling Bob.

     Like I said before, thank goodness he’s potty-trained.

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About christyfarrisbooks

Writer of young adult fantasy, romance and humor. Mother of seven. High ruler of the Kingdom of Crazy. :D
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